Poem Analysis: Wonders by Lazuli

At some point you may have felt like you were drowning in a sea of troubles, this is the feeling the poem emulates. The repetition of "She" throughout the poem builds up to a revelation of the subject's life being a jumble of indiscernible and faded colors. The life "She" had imagined for herself was lost and the most burdening part is that "she watches"; the subject is aware of the disaster around her and does not attempt to fix any of it. Her life breaks down as a dimming light, yet she isn't doing anything; perhaps she knows that this "mess" is art, it is irreplicable and that's where its beauty lies. 

The lines "she wonders what wonders" is not only a homonym but an example of her state of mind, she is hopelessly pensive, longing for the life she pictured to become a reality. I must note that while the tone is melancholic, there is an element of something being "gained", hinting that perhaps the subject knows this experience is beneficial despite its burden. 

Feelings of despair are common as we eventually come to see that we are the only ones that can be our own saviors or opposers. But this is not despair because the subject, while aghast at the difference in the painting of the life she imagined compared to that which has manifested, makes no effort to stop or fix the mess around her and simply lets it exist. The juxtaposition of "gained" and "lost" brings to life the constant battle between the intuition and the rational brain. While a person might think that their state is futile, something inside them perhaps a voice, reassures that this storm must occur.